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>MrPajeet
(Created page with " == '''Tesla''' == Tesla is a shilled EV car company [https://www.cnbc.com/2021/02/06/tesla-founders-martin-eberhard-marc-tarpenning-on-elon-musk.html bought] by normie tech...")
 
>MrPajeet
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[https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/bd/Tesla_Motors.svg/1587px-Tesla_Motors.svg.png]
 
== '''Tesla''' ==


Tesla is a shilled EV car company [https://www.cnbc.com/2021/02/06/tesla-founders-martin-eberhard-marc-tarpenning-on-elon-musk.html bought] by normie tech god Elon Musk. Used to be [https://www.cnbc.com/2021/02/06/tesla-founders-martin-eberhard-marc-tarpenning-on-elon-musk.html System76] on wheels, It's all Apple motors now.
Tesla is a shilled EV car company [https://www.cnbc.com/2021/02/06/tesla-founders-martin-eberhard-marc-tarpenning-on-elon-musk.html bought] by normie tech god Elon Musk. Used to be [https://www.cnbc.com/2021/02/06/tesla-founders-martin-eberhard-marc-tarpenning-on-elon-musk.html System76] on wheels, It's all Apple motors now.


== '''The Good Era''' ==


== '''The Master plan''' ==
Tesla Used to be System76 on wheels. They've made their cars to appeal more to your average /g/entooman than a soyjak thanks to them using Uwubuntu and other GNU/Linux utils in the system (Le Coreboot included).
At first they've released the roadster, An electrified version of a lotus. This car was responsible of restoring coosomer interest in
Full EV's spite being very expensive. Now with funding, they went to make "Whitestar" aka the Model S aka a full EV version of the Mercedes Benz CB4. It was a '''HIT''' being vastly cheaper than the roadster and even some Oil cars for what it offered. The Range was good, and the company even deployed Fast chargers to help you when you're stuck. Needless to say, At 2015, EV's were back from the dead thank to them. And then came the Model 3. This was '''the''' car they've wanted to make. It was affordable, It had good range compared to any other EV at the time, And everyone and their grandma bought one.


Tesla's plan is to make a Netflix based subscription where you rent the car for transportation with a botnet app that zucks your data.
This is their glory days
Tesla struggled to make the platform dubbed 'Autopilot' due to the fact that they refuse to make their cars suitable for Full-Self Driving,
It's all Downward spiral from here
'''I'M NOT JOKING, IT'S GARBAGE'''. The Intel Atom spyware ain't gonna cut it, and yet the media and their reddit cult believed it's a Quantum
PC made by elon himself.


== '''Models''' ==
== '''Autopilot and dumbassery''' ==


The company produces couple high end cars, ranging from 40000$ to '''''500000$''''', with the Model 3 Being the most popular.
Tesla released all the way back in 2014 the first version of "Autopilot" their driver assist software programmed by zionist company Mobileye.
Other noteworthy models include:
Even back then the system was heavily criticised for not taking proper proper steps to ensure the driver is still paying attention to the road.
Mobileye cut connections with Tesla in 2015, But Tesla was still not satisifed. The Model 3 Was designed to depend on their subsystem, Resulting in many accidents all over the US. Europe, Canada and other non burger nation banned the use of the System for good reasons as it's still BETA for the masses. Tesla promised to deliver Full-Self Driving in 2019 And they've failed to do that due to the fact that they refuse to make their cars suitable for actual Full-Self Driving, The Intel Atom thingy ain't gonna cut it, and yet the media and their reddit cult believed it's a Quantum.


Model X
Elon can be the one to blame. Instead of listening to the team he went to the media and told them tesla had FSD tech inside the car, Which caused irl reddit soyjaks to think the car can drive itself, while in reality the car was not gonna do that. The reddit soyjaks went as far as to defend the company at all costs [https://electrek.co/2020/10/06/tesla-dissolves-pr-department/ Which resulted in Elon getting rid of Tesla's pr department]. Tesla was also the one company to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBKRuI2zHp0 heavily popularizing the Quantum meme with Elon saying it would destroy humanity], Causing further damage in reputation for A.I. research and spreading misinformation.
Model S - Demoed with Soyberpunk 2077
Model Y
This days it is fair to say the company cares more about brainlet redditors than the chad /g/ user.
Cybermeme 2077
The horribly delayed Semi-Trailer
The Roadster

Revision as of 05:34, 11 August 2021

[1]

Tesla is a shilled EV car company bought by normie tech god Elon Musk. Used to be System76 on wheels, It's all Apple motors now.

The Good Era

Tesla Used to be System76 on wheels. They've made their cars to appeal more to your average /g/entooman than a soyjak thanks to them using Uwubuntu and other GNU/Linux utils in the system (Le Coreboot included). At first they've released the roadster, An electrified version of a lotus. This car was responsible of restoring coosomer interest in Full EV's spite being very expensive. Now with funding, they went to make "Whitestar" aka the Model S aka a full EV version of the Mercedes Benz CB4. It was a HIT being vastly cheaper than the roadster and even some Oil cars for what it offered. The Range was good, and the company even deployed Fast chargers to help you when you're stuck. Needless to say, At 2015, EV's were back from the dead thank to them. And then came the Model 3. This was the car they've wanted to make. It was affordable, It had good range compared to any other EV at the time, And everyone and their grandma bought one.

This is their glory days It's all Downward spiral from here

Autopilot and dumbassery

Tesla released all the way back in 2014 the first version of "Autopilot" their driver assist software programmed by zionist company Mobileye. Even back then the system was heavily criticised for not taking proper proper steps to ensure the driver is still paying attention to the road. Mobileye cut connections with Tesla in 2015, But Tesla was still not satisifed. The Model 3 Was designed to depend on their subsystem, Resulting in many accidents all over the US. Europe, Canada and other non burger nation banned the use of the System for good reasons as it's still BETA for the masses. Tesla promised to deliver Full-Self Driving in 2019 And they've failed to do that due to the fact that they refuse to make their cars suitable for actual Full-Self Driving, The Intel Atom thingy ain't gonna cut it, and yet the media and their reddit cult believed it's a Quantum.

Elon can be the one to blame. Instead of listening to the team he went to the media and told them tesla had FSD tech inside the car, Which caused irl reddit soyjaks to think the car can drive itself, while in reality the car was not gonna do that. The reddit soyjaks went as far as to defend the company at all costs Which resulted in Elon getting rid of Tesla's pr department. Tesla was also the one company to heavily popularizing the Quantum meme with Elon saying it would destroy humanity, Causing further damage in reputation for A.I. research and spreading misinformation.

This days it is fair to say the company cares more about brainlet redditors than the chad /g/ user.